Father/Son bonding

[timewalker]

I have to share:

I have been playing WaS with my six-year old son... and he has been beating me pretty consistently (of course, he is always the "good guys" (the Allies) and I have two Iowas and no Yamatos.) Driving around on Saturday and Sunday he kept asking me to tell him "war stories" and I was running through all the WWII naval battles I could remember.

Yes! I am raising another generation of wargamer.

[harrigan]

Cool.

My son is four and a little too young yet to grasp the rules. But *man* was he impressed when he pulled the Yamato out of a booster recently. Despite being too young to play, he loves the minis and insists on being the one to find out what's inside each box. He's also now walking around spouting, "Remember the Yamato? It was the biggest battleship ever built!" ;)

[weedsrock2]

That's great! Cool looking ships are irresistable. I have been playing Mechwarrior with my 13 year-old-son for almost 4 years. He has the "gaming gene" for sure. War at Sea really grabbed his attention. He is watching old WWII movies, playing "Battlestations Midway" on PC, and just generally enjoying learning about warships. Plus playing me at WaS and generally winning!

Priceless. Enjoy it while we can. It goes fast.

Mike

[Rokossovsky]

My son is now 29 and has just graduated from Aerospace Engineering at the University of Illinois ... no less.

He's back up in Alaska.

LOTS of great memories. He helped me design most -- the best, anyway -- of the free games on my webpage.

"Now Dad. We do want to make this a game anybody can play ... right?!"

:o

[Dragonman505]

My two sons spent seven years living with their mother after she and I divorsed. I fianlly got custody of the in July of 1995. They had always watched the original Star Trek series with me and then the Next Generation. One night they were watching and friend from high school and I play Star Fleet Battles. They begged me the next weekend to teach them to play. They ate it up! Within a few weeks they were both beating me consistently. I had already taught them both chess couple of years earlier. They are 24 and 23 respectively now, out on their (still local though) and are both avid gamers. The oldest works a great deal and doesn't play much now. The younger and I play about twice a week average. We play AAM, Mechwarrior, Klin Zha, Chess (now and then), Risk occasionally, A & A board (rarely) and Ogre/GEV once in a while. It is a grteat bonding thing and we really enjoy it.In case anyone is wondering, we are about 50/50 on wins and losses. Maybe one day I will be ableto play some of these games with a grandson...Who knows.

[Joisey]

Great stories guys! I am playing the Cruiser Captain's game with my 6 year old now and simultaneously playing chess with my 8 year old. I taught my oldest son chess and now he's the best player in his chess club!

[DrMercy]

Looking forward to have children on my own! :p

My girlfriend has no interest in board gaming except Trivial Pursuit :rolleyes:
It could be fantastic to have a son (or daughter) who came to love boardgaming as much as I do myself.

[Legbiter]

Quite apart from bonding, playing complicated games with one's children is a BRILLIANT educational tool - hothousing without all that silly crap of flash-cards, private tutors and after-hours classes. My son, now 18, has been playing games since he was 4. Here [slightly-edited] is what I wrote about our experiences together in Another Place:

"NON-FICTION: Further Experiments With a Live Child

As regular readers will know, i am older than most of you, and the
father of a teenage son [Michael, aka Anklebiter]. As others in the
community begin the process of raising families i thought it might be
useful to describe the role that gaming has played in Michael's
upbringing and the effects it has had on him. i'm doing this because i
believe gamer culture has had a marked influence for good upon
Michael's education, and i strongly recommend that you try its effects
on your kids, too.

It never occurred to us NOT to play games with Michael. His mother and
i are old-time D&Ders, and by old-time i mean that we used the three
crappy brown-cardboard cover books and [gulp!] silver-covered
ring-bound Chainmail when we started out. However, when Michael was
born in 1988 we had pretty much stopped D&D due to lack of congenial
players and, of course, CCGs had not yet appeared. The revival of our
interest in games took place in 1990 when i moved to Portsmouth and
discovered Marshall MacCombie's wonderful shop, Southsea Models.
Additionally among my first cohort of students at Portsmouth
University were Andrew Sparkes and Garry Scarlett who were/are
enthusiasts for skirmish miniatures games, and at that time our
favourite was Warhammer 40K. It wasn't long before VERY little Michael
was clamouring to take part in a "Massive Game With Daddy", and so he
was introduced to WH40K, Epic, and Magic when it eventually came out.

At first i think the setting up and moving around of the soldiers was
the main attraction, but he did not like to lose at all, at all. In
the photo album for 1992-ish there is a great sequence of setting up
and playing a gigantic Epic battle, Chaos against Squats IIRC,
featuring a VERY happy Michael at the beginning, and a red-faced and
teary-eyed Michael at the end, surrounded by the wreckage of his Chaos
Legion. He used to get emotional about Magic, too. Shortly after he
started school, we were playing a game in which he brought out a
Mountain Goat [red, 1/1, snow-covered mountainwalk] and named him Fluffy the mountain goat. Since i too was playing a red deck i promptly
disintegrated Fluffy. Michael burst into tears and fled the room. "You
killed my fluffy!" To console him, we had to pretend that fluffy
wasn't dead, having nipped into the cover of the discard pile at the
last moment. Eventually Michael was enticed back and, stony faced, he
passed me a note. The text read; "i no at Daddy lied fluffy is dead
and here is his grefestone" [picture of gently-smoking gravestone
with the legend "fluffy RIP"].

Our games of Epic and WH40K [later also Warhammer FB, Flintloque and
Lord of the Rings] continue to this day. Since i am the cook in our
household i frequently have to leave the game to attend to the food,
and when Michael was little i often used to have to tell him to take
my turns while i did this. A strange phenomenon associated with this
pattern of behaviour was that no matter how good my position had been
before i left, Michael's forces would have staged a miraculous
recovery by the time i returned. Nowadays however he does not have to
cheat to beat me, of which more anon.

We do not play Magic anymore, and unsurprisingly Jyhad is our
favourite CCG. i believe that Michael may still be the youngest ever
winner of a Jyhad tournament [constructed, aged 11] and he has also
won a booster draft tournament [in London, 2004]. The other game we
play a LOT is d20 Call of Cthulhu, edited transcripts of some of our
games now forming a staple of the Gangrel Antitribu Newsletter's regular fiction section. Our take on Call of Cthulhu is quite D&D-ish, however; my
view is that the basic D&D paradigm of Go Down The Dungeon, Kill The
Monsters and Steal Their Stuff is the right one for RPGs, but that it
is more fun if you have a Webley and you are taking on a Byakhee so as
to acquire a copy of Cthaat Aquadingen, than if you are whacking an
eye-tyrant with a magic mace of disruption on the Quest for the Holy
Tubs of Cash. This means that miniatures play a big part in our games,
and Michael is now a highly-skilled and prolific painter of plastic
and metal figurines.

Michael is also highly-successful at school. This year he is deputy
head boy at Springfield Technology College, studying for GCSEs where
he is predicted to get A's in everything and A*'s in everything
important. He is a balanced, considerate and intelligent child who is
greatly liked and respected by all his teachers and most of his fellow
pupils; he is particularly good with difficult and vulnerable
students. And the point of this article is to suggest that his
personal and intellectual successes are linked to gamer culture.
Specifically:

*He has learned how to analyse and interpret difficult text through
CCGs, especially Jyhad.

*He has learned social skills including how to argue, negotiate and
compromise from CCGs, miniatures and board games.

*He has learned narrative skills and also how to act and how to
empathise through RPGs.

*He has learned mathematical, statistical and spatial awareness skills
through miniatures games.

*He has gained an advanced understanding of issues surrounding race
and politics from miniatures games - an odd claim, but justified by
his affection for the despised Orcs in WHFB and Lord of the Rings.

*He has learned a lot of history and archaeology through Call of
Cthulhu.

*He has learned artistic skills and also patience and application
through painting miniatures.

So much for classic gamer culture, but perhaps it is right also to
note that we play a lot of cricket and we like to walk, in summer to
look for butterflies, and in autumn to look for mushrooms. Naturally,
we also play computer games, which teach one, erm, stuff about
computers, i suppose. We even occasionally watch the telly. In short,
here is a boy whose leisure has been almost wholly an educational
experience, during which he has picked up important and difficult
techniques ENTIRELY painlessly. And though i am probably not the best
judge, i cannot think of any downside to this approach - perhaps i
will have to eat my words when he turns out to be a drunk, wifebeater
or thief, but i do not think so.

i'm aware that the anecdotes of a proud parent may not give a
completely fair picture, and that in any case Michael might have
turned out exactly the same had he been brought up in complete
ignorance of games. But i really don't think so - it's the active
seeking out of generally-useful techniques and ideas with the aim of
APPLYING them to a fun activity which convinces me that these are
stories worth sharing and an approach worth emulating. If you like,
rather than hot-housing him we got him to hot-house himself - all the
gain but none of the cost in terms of personal stress.

In summary, i suggest that gamer culture is a fine educational tool,
and the family that plays together, stays together. So start
experimenting on your kids Now!"

Addendum: Since I wrote that Michael has graduated from Secondary School, where he came top of the year, won a prize for best-dressed person at the Senior Prom [yes, including girls; he went in a kilt] and got off with the prettiest girl in the school, now his steady squeeze. Currently he is finishing college where he is predicted to get five A's at A-level [2 maths, Chemistry, Physics and Biology, ie no soppy stuff at all]. He is planning to go to the University of Sussex on account of Imperial being too Londony, Oxford being too snooty, and Edinburgh being in Scotland, currently being misruled by the Scottish Nationalists. But they all wanted him.

[Volorkey]

I taught the land A&A to my dad when it came out a couple years ago, lets just say he was less than impressed. When WaS came out I had him try it, I knew he was intrested when the game was over and he was asking questions about it. I really knew he liked it when I was borrowing a pair of socks from him and I found a booster on his dresser! If you knew my dad like I do you'd be amazed. The only game he ever really played before this is chess! I could hardly get him to buy me boosters of A&A minis the land game for Christmas, Now he buys his own WaS stuff, we play at least once or twice a week and I feel it has only improved our father/son relationship.

[Ctrl_Alt_Del]

My 9-year old son and 7-year old daughter both love the game. They are getting dangerously close to whipping me.

[cravex]

Both my sons, 15 and 13, have played various games for at least 7 years. The bond it has established is amazing. They now even play on my Paintball team. The opportunity to talk while playing and the feeling that I understand them allows for great conversations about life.

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

[Moderator Sinister]

Both my sons, 15 and 13, have played various games for at least 7 years. The bond it has established is amazing. They now even play on my Paintball team. The opportunity to talk while playing and the feeling that I understand them allows for great conversations about life.

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

LOL, I quit my dad's paintball team back in the day. He had a hard time following air pressure, out of bounds, and range rules for shooting people. While we were forced to play on opposing teams he came from out of bounds 3 feet from me and unloaded, drawing blood in fact, after I had shot him. He was eliminated by the refs and managed to stop long enough to give his "live" buddies ammo to peg me with. I played risk, basketball, softball, and was on a cycling and paintball team with my dad, and in 18 years never saw him cheat except for paintball, where the sport made him crazy.

[Moderator Kayn]

This is - handsdown - the best thread I've EVER read in this forum.

It's made me remember playing boardgames with my mom and dad. Being an only child, I'd already learned the art of playing solo, but oh gosh, the thrill of having both of them set aside the whole evening for playing games with me!

: )

Mod Kayn

[Flyboy]

With all of these ausome posts and stories you would think that it would be fathers day;)

[cravex]

LOL, I quit my dad's paintball team back in the day. He had a hard time following air pressure, out of bounds, and range rules for shooting people. While we were forced to play on opposing teams he came from out of bounds 3 feet from me and unloaded, drawing blood in fact, after I had shot him. He was eliminated by the refs and managed to stop long enough to give his "live" buddies ammo to peg me with. I played risk, basketball, softball, and was on a cycling and paintball team with my dad, and in 18 years never saw him cheat except for paintball, where the sport made him crazy.

I follow the rule of "Take one, Teach one." I push my team to play standup paintball. I would never intentionally cheat because it sets a bad example for those following your lead.

[timewalker]

It's all very exciting to me. My son (mentioned in the first post) and I only played our first game of WaS a few days ago and since then the first question he asks when I get home from work is "can we play a game, Dad?" I have already taught him Chess and Risk but I think he prefers WaS because he is beating me pretty consistently (of course, I give him a better fleet but I think that may change very soon). We started with a battleship each and have now progressed to our first game with aircraft (after him begging and begging to use planes each game).

Growing up in a household with three sisters, I am an old solo player from way back and my wife really doesn't understand the whole wargame thing. So the thought of having someone to play with now is great.

My folks just cleaned out their attic and brought me boxes and boxes of my old wargames. (I used to work for Task Force Games when I was in High School and College and have a ton - even a couple I designed for them.) My son has been going through them and begging to play them now. I figure some of them we need to work up to.

And I LOVE the stories others are sharing. It gives me hope that Samuel and I can be playing wargames in the years to come and he will not just be playing solo on video games without his old man.

[harrigan]

So what can people recommend for a dad and his four-year old? My son has no problems with stuff like Kids of Catan and I think in another year we'll give War at Sea a spin, but I've been on the hunt for some other good board and card games I can teach him...

[Legbiter]

So what can people recommend for a dad and his four-year old? My son has no problems with stuff like Kids of Catan and I think in another year we'll give War at Sea a spin, but I've been on the hunt for some other good board and card games I can teach him...

Simplified versions of Warhammer 40K and Warhammer Epic were what Michael and I started on, but when we get going on his children/my grandchildren we will definitely put WaS into that mix, initially without aircraft and subs, and trying to pair like-with-like [ie no battleships massacring large fleets of destroyers]. The set-up and pretty pieces is a big part of the thrill for the little ones, and at first I advise against complicated line of sight and dice-rolling. Pokemon and Yi-Go-I are pretty good games if you strip out the power-rares and so, of course, is Magic.

Michael, who has been watching me write this, suggests Letting the Little One Win :)

[Yankee]

I was a solo gamer too. My parents never played any games with us kids. Games were considered toys that you take to another room and get out of sight. LOL
I remember playing games like the original "Battle Cry" and "Hit the Beach!" without any opponent but myself. When I got into AH games I can only remember one instance they took an interest and that was to complain that all the pieces were cardboard and how dare they charge $5.98 for that! :D
Gaming with my parents would have been a great way to bond with them and get to know them better but I grew up in the "children should be seen and not heard" era.
"Luftwaffe" was my first AH boardgame. It was closely follwed by "Jutland" and "Gettysburg." They are still my faves of all time with many a fond "solo" memory. To this very day I have never played them with anyone else. No one has shown the least interest.
Things will be different for my children. Family boardgame night will be a fixture. Gathering around a table and learning about life and how to be a good sport,perhaps even some about the history they may not hear about in school. Bonding will be high on the list. Right now my girlfriend plays WAS with me and my '99 version of "Battle Cry." She's a gem,even if she beats me consistently. :o

[timewalker]

So what can people recommend for a dad and his four-year old? My son has no problems with stuff like Kids of Catan and I think in another year we'll give War at Sea a spin, but I've been on the hunt for some other good board and card games I can teach him...

As far as wargaming, Samuel and I started with Risk. He actually enjoyed the die rolling, although there was the occassional crying fit when I destroyed his armies. And yes, I let him win... at least on occassion.

I remember playing chess with my Dad when I was younger. I never beat him because the first time I played him to a draw, he stopped playing with me.

[Cinnibar]

My father and I have been playing backgammon with each other for almost 30 years. We've played other strategy games on the side (Risk, Pente, Chess, etc), but backgammon was the game that we always came back to.

Every family gathering, the backgammon board comes out, and with a couple drinks in hand, we play.

[Rick]

It was my father who taught me chess. In sixth grade my teacher started a chess club for the grade which I enjoyed and won some turniments. It was that same teacher that introduced me to war games, Gettysburg. LOVED IT! The first game I purchased was Avalon Hill's Third Reich. What a strech for a 12 year old! But I enjoyed the challenge. From there it branched out into France 1940, PanzerBlitz, Panzer Leader, and Arab-Israeli Wars, Squad Leader, and Advanced Squad Leader.

College, marriage and kids killed my gaming days. But now that my kids are a bit older, and I have some excess income, AAM has been a joy. Easy to teach and challenging to master. It's a nice balance.

Rick

[Ctrl_Alt_Del]

So what can people recommend for a dad and his four-year old? My son has no problems with stuff like Kids of Catan and I think in another year we'll give War at Sea a spin, but I've been on the hunt for some other good board and card games I can teach him...

My kids loved Uno when they were that age. Easy to teach, no need for advanced reading skills.