Class President

[sherminator1]

I'm running for class president this year and so far i'm one of three who has a very good chance. I have to have a speech done by nextweek and was looking for some pointers or ideas.

[Krieghund]

Make it brief.

[admiral_yamoto]

Give Lots of Candy

[sherminator1]

Give Lots of Candy
I seriously doubt the useability of this plan

[Hiro]

Be honest, state your intent as president and remember K.I.S.S.(Keep It Simple Stupid), my father in law's favorite saying.

[admiral_yamoto]

I seriously doubt the useability of this plan

im not joking, when people ran for student council, i just voted (along with everyone else) for the guy who gave me the most candy

[TrimChris]

im not joking, when people ran for student council, i just voted (along with everyone else) for the guy who gave me the most candy

But cash is so much more personal.

[Lt M Cotten]

1) Be sincere, don't promise the moon, and keep it simple.

2) Don't give candy, or other bribes.

Shame on those who would begin your career as a politician, already tainted before his first victory. :D Odd are there's time for that later.

"What's worse than a lawyer? One who's gone into politics." :eek:

[DocD]

I applaud you Sherminator. In high school, I ran for Student Council President against a friend of mine and a girl in our class. I promised the kids alot of stuff, but it was all doable.

My idiotic fellow students changed it into a popularity contest.
Anyway, I had really planned a couple of nice things that I thought would have done some good. What happened you ask?

My friend and I lost. I was told I came in third. Most of the girls voted for the girl while my friend and I split the guy vote. (I found this out by asking around later).

It gets better, the girl got pregnant, never did anything with her new position, and dropped out of school that same year. Just shows you how idiotic the voting masses can be. Needless to say, they usually get what they deserve. (ie GWB)

[sherminator1]

I'm running against my friend (a.k.a. "The swedish Are coming") and a popular girl. I'm already pretty shure i'm gonna win. My reasoning is that I already have 45% of the girls voting for me because my running mate is the leader of a powerfull clique. I have like 80% of the guys voting for me because I have an entire guys popular clique and i'm a nerd so i've pretty much covered my bases. I'm not too too worried about the speaches because i'm (not to brag) probably one of the top five writers in my school. But i would appreciate the help cause anything could happen come election day!

[RuHurt]

Good luck man, I only have a few political tips to add to those above.

1: don't be caught in a lie, at least not until after you've won.

2: try not to get into any arguments/fights with another student while running; it could lead to losing a lot of votes, from the other student, his friends, etc.

3: try to get into the good graces of at least one other candidate; you're already friends with one, so that's good, but try to get the girl on your side too. Try sleeping with her; with luck, she'll throw her support behind you in the morning, and you can carry the female vote.

4: take everything i say with a grain of salt; I'm doing my modern-Machiavelli impersonation :D ;).

[CrazyStraw]

Most important: When giving a speech for this type of event, try to keep the nudity tasteful.

[admiral_yamoto]

Actually, Student elections are poularity contests. dont talk about A&A ;)

[koops]

Dont forget you dont need the most votes to beome president

[TrimChris]

Media coverage is critical.

[TrimChris]

And these days you're lost without a good website.

[koops]

a good "Vote (insert name)" t shirt is a must too,

[boylermaker]

If your elections are anything like ours, all you have to do is make a bunch of underclassmen who don't know any of the candidates from Adam remember your name. Do this by being funny.

Also, everyone's usually so jaded about promises that you either shouldn't promise anything or wax hyperbolic for the humor.

[Lt M Cotten]

Deny everything and launch counter accusations.....

[TrimChris]

Declare war on a rival school.

[sherminator1]

well recently the soda machines in our school went up by .25 cents so i'm either gonna say i'll fix it or blame it on Julian(my competition)

[series]

Ah, I wish that I could run for student president. However, we haven't had a caucasion president for the past 12 years or so, and times don't seem to be changing.

But if they would rather have a skin color that matches their's than the man best for the job, let them have it.

[TrimChris]

Ah, I wish that I could run for student president. However, we haven't had a caucasion president for the past 12 years or so, and times don't seem to be changing.

But if they would rather have a skin color that matches their's than the man best for the job, let them have it.

But wouldn't Napoleon Dynamite dance moves cross racial barriers?

[DocD]

Declare war on a rival school.LOL.....
Yeah, one that doesn't have a student council, but a student dictator who's hoarding books of mass destruction.

[Lt M Cotten]

After some catostrophic event, like a food fight, you could declare a state of emergency and seize total control of your school.. :eek:

[sherminator1]

Ok i've come up with a few slogans.

Vote Patey!
Because it’s easier than thinking

Vote Patey!
Because we all make mistakes

Vote Patey!
Because I take bribes-I mean, Because I care…Yeah…

Vote Patey!
Because he asked politely

[CrazyStraw]

Patey!
Vote early, vote often.

Patey!
He's not a mutant stalker, and if the other candidates aren't, why haven't they said so?

Patey!
Now with 30% less vile corruption, 50% more sweet, sweet luvin.

Patey!
Because no indictment has ever stuck.

This could quickly become a tshirt cottage industry...

[Stephen]

You know, there is a positive side to not being able to win an election in a democratic vote...

[Carlo]

I've been class president for three consecutive years. Still I remember how I have been elected.
Me:Hi Mattia, I'm phoning you because I've got a bad flu and I need to know the homeworks and what you did today at school.
Mattia:We did nothing more than usual, apart that we have runned class president elections and you won. Congratulations!
Me:....
note:I never candidated.
Me:

[sherminator1]

Patey!
Vote early, vote often.

Patey!
He's not a mutant stalker, and if the other candidates aren't, why haven't they said so?

Patey!
Now with 30% less vile corruption, 50% more sweet, sweet luvin.

Patey!
Because no indictment has ever stuck.

This could quickly become a tshirt cottage industry...I'm actually gonna put a couple of yours on posters and use them thanks! :D If anyone else has any ideas please tell :)

[admiral_yamoto]

Vote Patey! I BET YOU PEOPLE DONT KNOW INFANTRY PUSH MECHANIC!

Vote Patey! Just cause he doesn't live in a trailer!

Vote Patey! (He's not nerdx)

Vote Patey! and watch your demcratic school turn into a facist dictatorship!

Vote Patey!
He needs fluids cause Wotc sucked them out of him through a thin straw

my lame atempts to try to be funny......

[Lt M Cotten]

Vote Patey! How bad could he be?

Vote Patey! Your girlfriend thinks he's the best.

Vote Patey! Your grandma would.

[RuHurt]

Vote Patey! Or I'll have your family assassinated!

Vote Patey! Because Pat Robertson said I'd win!

Vote Patey! My name rhymes with matey!

[TrimChris]

The name "Patey" would instantly send my vote elsewhere.

[CrazyStraw]

Hmmm... It depends on how much room you have to work with on your posters. Here are a few more.

Vote Patey!
Don't choose the lesser of two evils! Patey: Most evil and most sinister since 2003.

Vote Patey!
All your friends are voting for Patey, and if they're not, are they really your friends?

Patey for Pres: 'Cuz I gots to get me some fine Lewinskys.

Vote Patey: Sure he's a crooked, back-stabbing weasel, but he's a crooked back-stabbing weasel working for YOU!

From Brazil:
Vote Patey!
Suspicion breeds confidence.

A classic:
Vote for Patey or...
http://groundstate.ca/images/shoot-dog.jpg

Good luck. Remember, if you lose the election it is only because you are a bad person. And weak.

[sherminator1]

The name "Patey" would instantly send my vote elsewhere.whats wrong with it? (its my last name not first)

[sherminator1]

Oh and try these on for size

Vote Patey!
Now with kung-fu action

Vote Patey!
Working towards the post apocalyptic anarchy of tommorow, today

Vote Patey!
OR suffer the consequences

[admiral_yamoto]

whats wrong with it? (its my last name not first)

thats obvious, your first name is sherminater1

[sherminator1]

thats obvious, your first name is sherminater1
hee hee hee

[qmp]

Go last when you are making your speeches. As you are about to give your speech, tear it up, slowly down the middle, so everybody can see. Then say "Everybody has sat here long enough. There's gotta be a party around here somewhere." Have about 10 friends chat "Ya Shermintor rules!" until you leave the stage. You'll win hands down.

[admiral_yamoto]

mentioning that you know the great admiral yamoto wouldnt hurt either ;)

[sherminator1]

Go last when you are making your speeches. As you are about to give your speech, tear it up, slowly down the middle, so everybody can see. Then say "Everybody has sat here long enough. There's gotta be a party around here somewhere." Have about 10 friends chat "Ya Shermintor rules!" until you leave the stage. You'll win hands down.
Well i'm definitely going last and my speach is gonna be the shortest

[sherminator1]

Well for those of you that have been following this i won a landslide victory. I had 48 votes my male opponent 17 and my female opponent 25

[TrimChris]

I knew my campaign management would do the trick.

Congrats!

[Moderator Kayn]

Vote for Patey
He's First Rate-y?

*grins*

[Lt M Cotten]

Congrats! I would like to read your speech, so that in six months I can ask you about your progress.

[sherminator1]

well its only a paragraph or so long but here it is anyway

As most of you already know, my name is *** Patey and I am running for class president. “Why vote for him?” is what a number of you are surely thinking. To begin with I have the dedication for the job. My campaign clearly illustrates this, what with the posters, persuading, asking/begging for votes. My enthusiasm for the mere chance of becoming class president should be enough to prove this.
I have dozens of ideas several that might even work. Included in these ideas are things such as a fundraiser for the victims of Katrina, a new club. And a new rule to stop gum from being spit into water fountains. As Franklin D. Roosevelt once said “Let us never forget that government is ourselves and not an alien power over us. The ultimate rulers of our democracy are not a president and senators and congressman and government officials, but the voters of this country” I agree with this; I want to improve our school, but I want to do it together. I want to represent the class, not just make decisions for it.
You’ve all sat here long enough so thank you for listening and Vote Patey!

yep, thrown together like 30 min before i read it so don't judge.

[DocD]

"Stop gum from being spit into the water fountain"? Good luck with that!

Actually, not a bad speech. I'm glad you didn't promise the moon. Good luck with your term.

[Lt M Cotten]

Well it was.....enough to win I guess. Congrats again!

[RuHurt]

I've read worse, and it worked, so nice job :D.

[TrimChris]

Time to get the impeachment underway.

[sherminator1]

Time to get the impeachment underway.
are you kidding? i'm too busy campaigning for re-election. Only ten months left!

[Carlo]

.
I have dozens of ideas several that might even work. Included in these ideas are things such as a fundraiser for the victims of Katrina, a new club. And a new rule to stop gum from being spit into water fountains. .

When I was Class President, I had similar ideas. I wanted to make them stop spitting their saliva around and they just didn't listen to me. I tried to raise some fund for the Tanzanian Drought and they littered my stand with fascists simbols. I tried to stop the total devastation of bathrooms, so that people could use them again and they began to throw flaming toilet paper. Always remember that People is the first enemy of a leader.

[admiral_yamoto]

congrats.

i bet it was my slogans ;)

[CrazyStraw]

Congrats!

As for the gum problem, remember:

Pain is the teacher.

Pain is the cleanser.

In time the students will learn, if given the appropriate motivation.

[admiral_yamoto]

And Remember!

“WAR IS PEACE,” “FREEDOM IS SLAVERY,” “IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.”

[boylermaker]

Hey!
DEATH TO THE FASCIST INSECT THAT PREYS ON THE LIFE OF THE PEOPLE

[Hiro]

Just remember what my Dad used to tell me, "When the mind does not comprehend, the body must be punished."

[Carlo]

Hey!
DEATH TO THE FASCIST INSECT THAT PREYS ON THE LIFE OF THE PEOPLE
We all love democracy, it's the people we are trying to govern that doesn't like it.

[Lt M Cotten]

Hey teachers, leave them kids alone.

[sherminator1]

Ohhhhh, update, my subordinates revolted against me and I almost got impeached, good lord.. Looks like i need to ummmm.... cleanse my high command...... muhahahahaha

[40roundsready]

Ohhhhh, update, my subordinates revolted against me and I almost got impeached, good lord.. Looks like i need to ummmm.... cleanse my high command...... muhahahahaha


Creating a Bureau for thought control seems be in order. :D

[sherminator1]

Nahhh i think bloddy pruging is pretty sweet, even if it doesn't work.

[admiral_yamoto]

you're allowed to do that in student council?

HOLYCRAP SHERMINATER IS STAYING

[sherminator1]

I'm not staying, i'm just lurking

[RuHurt]

Sherm, admit it; you've returned. Nobody "lurks" on these boards ;).

[admiral_yamoto]

At least none of the Old Guard ;)

[Thoth]

I think you all have just stumbled on the next AH board game. Call it Highschoolville. the one who control the most clique's, and therefore the most votes, wins.

[nerdx]

Sherm, admit it; you've returned. Nobody "lurks" on these boards ;).
Your definetly back Sherm. :D Stop lying. :D

[admiral_yamoto]

I think you all have just stumbled on the next AH board game. Call it Highschoolville. the one who control the most clique's, and therefore the most votes, wins.
lol, that's a good one :D

[Kali]

Sherm, admit it; you've returned. Nobody "lurks" on these boards ;).
And Remember!

“WAR IS PEACE,” “FREEDOM IS SLAVERY,” “IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.”
I do mr. huxley.
and you'd better be careful.......

[40roundsready]

I think you all have just stumbled on the next AH board game. Call it Highschoolville. the one who control the most clique's, and therefore the most votes, wins.

You are really on to something! The game would use popularity instead of hit points with your goal of controlling cliques. I see a tile based map of school hallways and classrooms. Special cards to be used against other players such as "Nasty drinking fountain" lose a turn or "Pedro election campaign" +3 to popularity.:D

[nerdx]

Hey, I would buy it.

[TrimChris]

What about a race game for who can get their avatar to flash the fastest?

[nerdx]

I would win that game.
(501!)

[boylermaker]

Don't give AH ideas!

[nerdx]

You're just mad because your avatar doesn't flash! :p ;)

[boylermaker]

No, I'm mad because of Vegas Showdown-Rocketville back-to-back.

[TrimChris]

Vegas Showdown rocks! I played last week for the first time in a while and it was a blast!. It's easily the best AH game from 2005 and 2006.

[RuHurt]

It's easily the best AH game from 2005 and 2006.

Not like that would take much...

[admiral_yamoto]

Just you guys wait for Fu Grammer

[boylermaker]

Vegas showdown may rock. I wouldn't know; it doesn't interest me. I am fine with the occasional non-war-themed game. I am fine if every other game is like that. But please, keep wargames at 50% of production!

By the way, Fu-Grammar will be an awesome wargame and I'm not listening to anyone that says otherwise.

[admiral_yamoto]

What is it going to be about?

No one has answered...

[Stojakovic]

What about a race game for who can get their avatar to flash the fastest?

Whats the point? We all know you would win.

[boylermaker]

Ha! The internet accelerator I use can be set to keep avatars from flashing.

The day is mine.